Friday, November 22, 2013

The promised post about buzzing shrubbery, my boyfriend Wesley, and all about dinosaurs

Part one: buzzing shrubbery

*initiate flashback*

I used to live in Texas, when I was about three years old, but don't worry. I dropped the accent a while ago. Well anyway, it was a nice day out for Texas, so I went outside in our driveway to go play with my little plastic dinosaur toys. My dad was outside too, and he decided that the bushes by our driveway desperately needed a trim, as they were overgrown and sloppy looking.
So my dad, trying to act like a manly man, grabbed the chainsaw from the garage.
I still don't see why he couldn't have just used the hedge clippers. It would have made everything astronomically less painful for both of us.
Anyway, Dad grabbed the chainsaw and revved it up.
Meanwhile, the young, innocent, sweet, adorable little girl (me!) is brutally murdering a plastic brontosaur with plastic velociraptors. I looked up at my chainsaw wielding dad, who was standing over the in-need-of-a-makeover bush.
It was about at this time that the bush began to make a strange buzzing noise.
Since he was holding the chainsaw, Dad neglected to hear the foreboding warning. He practically slammed the buzzing chainsaw into the buzzing bush, acting more like he was slicing and dicing the poor plant than trimming the branches.
The chain caught the hornet's nest.
I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.
Some of the furiously flying insects chased Dad around the side of the house, and I stood up, my mouth forming an almost comical O. A singular hornet decided that the inside of my ear would make a nice hangout spot.
He was wrong.
I guess he didn't like my ear d├ęcor, because he stung me.
On the inside.
Yep, that hurt. Big ouch. Bad boo-boo. Proceed to run crying to mommy.
As well as the pain of this situation, my mom figured out that I was allergic to hornet stings. She gave me some children's benadryll to combat these effects and that stuff makes me crazy drowsy...
I spent the rest of the day staggering around, muttering things like "Buzz buzz buzz...I am a bee."


Part two: My boyfriend, Wesley.

There are a few things you should know about Wesley.

  • We're very close. He sleeps in my room every night.
  • I'm taller than him by a lot
  • He is possibly the most adorable dude ever
  • His frill and the spines on his back are pink
  • Wesley is a stuffed animal triceratops
Wesley's a seriously cool dude. Sometimes I bring him to school. His best friends are Allie's squiddle, named Mr. Squiddles, and Bailey's cat, Buttons.
I love Wesley.
The feeling is mutual.
Here, I'll take a picture of him for you! I'm in science as I'm writing this, so just disregard the background....


Part three: all about dinosaurs

As you may have noticed, I have added things about dinosaurs in this blog post. The thing is, I used to be completely and totally and absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs.
You know how some girls went through a princess phase? A horse phase?
Well, there's those kids, and then there'
I went through a dinosaur phase.
It was pretty intense, and that's when I first became acquainted with Wesley. 
I have tons of old dinosaur books, my favorite dinosaur is a triceratops, and I can pronounce the word liopleurodon. And spell it, as you can see.
So, thanks for reading today, friends!

Friday, November 8, 2013

Five ways to not die

1. If you are anything like me, STAY AWAY FROM FIRE. Mostly if you're camping and you're roasting a marshmallow. The burning marshmallow monster will COME AFTER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. I guarantee it. 

2. Don't trust buzzing shrubbery. EVER. It's kind of a long story (and I'll explain it on my next post, I promise-there's not enough room here and it would be too big of a tangent.)
3. Eat chocolate daily. If you don't, you might find it harder and harder to enjoy the simple pleasures of things. And I'm being SERIOUS here.
4. If you're a Pokemon fan and know the theme song by heart....listen to THIS song. 
5. Take a picture of one thing that you find hilarious every day. It leads to telling all sorts of funny stories when you look back on your phone camera....and only you can laugh at the picture of that one lettuce leaf and understand the inside joke.

Ah, those were the good old days, before we were totally overloaded with homework. I miss those days, the days when we thought that one page of math was a lot, the days when we weren't afraid to run around outside playing quiddich in your front lawn....
I wish I was young again. 
It's funny, I used to wish I was older.

Okay, back to being hilarious now. 
I know that this blog is by FAR the best, friends have some pretty awesome stuff too. My friend Anthony has a blog called Rosseaux (I feel like I spelled that wrong. You'll have to go check.). My other friend, Audrey, has a blog, too. I think I've mentioned it before, but I'm not exactly sure. It's all about art, and about how awesome the dragons that she draws are....they're truly awesome.