Dog

My dog isn't stupid, exactly. In fact, she's rather smart. She just lacks social skills, I guess. She's always getting in the way, and I tend to trip over her a lot.
Then again, I tend to trip over everything a lot, but that's besides the point.
(Then again, this blog is all about tangents, no? I suppose I can elaborate on the extent of my tripping.)
Just last night, I fell down the stairs, twice, and broke the handrail when I tried to catch myself. At four o' clock in the morning this morning, I fell down a different flight of stairs.
Unfortunately for me, my house has three flights of stairs. The most hazardous ones are the ones leading to the basement, though, because they're the longest.
I can't help it, I'm having a growth spurt and my feet sometimes don't listen to my head. Don't judge.
Right, before this whole tangent began, I was talking about my dog. She looks like this:

A lot like the Hyperbole and a Half dog, I know. I even named my post similarly. I swear I'm not making this up. My dog legitimately looks like this.  Just ask Maddie. I'm not ripping off Hyperbole and a Half. Promise!
Anyway, Fuma is nice. She really likes milkbones, leftovers, and sleeping in the sun. She also really likes stepping on my foot, for some reason. She needs to learn some doggy manners, of course, but she knows lots of tricks, and she used to know how to open the door as a puppy. Yes, our door. The one with the knob.
She forgot, though, luckily.
Welp, I thought I should introduce you to Fuma. She's kinda clumsy, but adorable.

.....Bye now!

aoidsfklasdfja;'WADLKsm,;ldfsm,.

Okay, I'll admit it.
I have no idea what to title this post.
I'm so, so, so very sorry. I really am. I promise I'm not being sarcastic.
I suppose, since I have nothing else to do, I should introduce you to Markus. Markus is a monster, obviously. He only exists in my imagination, but he's awesome. If you've seen the other pictures I've drawn, Markus is the third one down. I'll also put him on this post, if you're too lazy to click the link.
Like I've mentioned before, Markus is totally, completely, and absolutely the product of my imagination. He doesn't exist anywhere else. He was my best friend in Sixth grade, and he technically does whatever I ask him to do. Like, if I told Markus to eat this person that I hate, or give Wesley a piggy back ride, he'd gladly do so. No questions asked.
I guess I should put some pictures of Markus on here!
Wait, first I need to ask him to say hello. Say hi please, Markus. And be polite.

Why Markus. That's hardly polite. You need to learn some manners. Perhaps I should send you to a manners school of some sort?

Markus, I'm simply horrified of your manners today. Go away this instant. NOW.

WHY MARKUS! HOW DARE YOU! GO TO YOUR ROOM THIS INSTANT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

Finally. I'm very sorry, usually he's much more polite....

Holiday Stress and Paper mache

Again, I gave away most of the content of this post in the title. I think it's quickly becoming a habit, but I think it's hardly a harmful habit. In fact, I find it useful. For example, if you want to read a post about certain things, you'll just have to look at the title. Easy as pie. Or perhaps even easier.....easy as cupcakes.
Cupcakes are very easy.

Hey: if you like this picture, check out the other pictures I have drawn! They're on my blog too!

Part One: Holiday stress

As many of you know, holidays can be.....downright scary. Being a procrastinator during the holidays is even more terrifying.
I'm usually pretty swamped with homework, but I have enough time that I can make or buy gifts. However, I cherish my free time, and long story short....I usually put off the gifts until the last possible minute.
In the back of my head, though, even now as I'm writing this blog, I'm thinking about how I really really need to get started on my holiday shopping/giftmaking. It's as stressful as heck, because I know I need to be writing this blog, too, and then there are some tests I should be studying for, and I need to spend quality time with my family and sister...
I should really go do that. Get a head start on the gifts.
.
.
.
Right after this post.

Part Two: Paper Mache

I know, I know. The proper spelling is papier mache, with fancy accents that I'm too lazy to add. I promised my friend Janelle (sorry if I spelled that wrong) that I would blog about this....so here we go.
I'm in an art class with Janelle during First Period. Right now, we're doing paper mache. We've been working on this project for a few days now, and it's really super fun.
Janelle's making an awesome owl. Me? Why, I'm making a veloSIRaptor. Named Rufioh. That's right. I'll put an ACTUAL picture on here when I'm done.
Anyway, we sit next to each other, and we have a pretty great time in art. We make jokes and have a great time. I wore aviators in art and brought Wesley today, it was really pretty fun.
Inside joke: glue is a conspiracy. O.O

Also, I commented on someone else's post. Here, I'll even put a picture on!

I try to think of myself as pretty funny, even though this post isn't one of my best.
I promise I'll do better next time!
It's been fun!
Bye now!
Byeeee!
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GO AWAY.
:3

The promised post about buzzing shrubbery, my boyfriend Wesley, and all about dinosaurs

Part one: buzzing shrubbery

*initiate flashback*

I used to live in Texas, when I was about three years old, but don't worry. I dropped the accent a while ago. Well anyway, it was a nice day out for Texas, so I went outside in our driveway to go play with my little plastic dinosaur toys. My dad was outside too, and he decided that the bushes by our driveway desperately needed a trim, as they were overgrown and sloppy looking.
So my dad, trying to act like a manly man, grabbed the chainsaw from the garage.
I still don't see why he couldn't have just used the hedge clippers. It would have made everything astronomically less painful for both of us.
Anyway, Dad grabbed the chainsaw and revved it up.
Meanwhile, the young, innocent, sweet, adorable little girl (me!) is brutally murdering a plastic brontosaur with plastic velociraptors. I looked up at my chainsaw wielding dad, who was standing over the in-need-of-a-makeover bush.
It was about at this time that the bush began to make a strange buzzing noise.
Since he was holding the chainsaw, Dad neglected to hear the foreboding warning. He practically slammed the buzzing chainsaw into the buzzing bush, acting more like he was slicing and dicing the poor plant than trimming the branches.
The chain caught the hornet's nest.
I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.
Some of the furiously flying insects chased Dad around the side of the house, and I stood up, my mouth forming an almost comical O. A singular hornet decided that the inside of my ear would make a nice hangout spot.
He was wrong.
I guess he didn't like my ear décor, because he stung me.
On the inside.
Of.
My.
Ear.
Yep, that hurt. Big ouch. Bad boo-boo. Proceed to run crying to mommy.
As well as the pain of this situation, my mom figured out that I was allergic to hornet stings. She gave me some children's benadryll to combat these effects and that stuff makes me crazy drowsy...
I spent the rest of the day staggering around, muttering things like "Buzz buzz buzz...I am a bee."

Buzz.....Buzz....

Part two: My boyfriend, Wesley.

There are a few things you should know about Wesley.

• We're very close. He sleeps in my room every night.
• I'm taller than him by a lot
• He is possibly the most adorable dude ever
• His frill and the spines on his back are pink
• Wesley is a stuffed animal triceratops

Wesley's a seriously cool dude. Sometimes I bring him to school. His best friends are Allie's squiddle, named Mr. Squiddles, and Bailey's cat, Buttons.

I love Wesley.

The feeling is mutual.

Here, I'll take a picture of him for you! I'm in science as I'm writing this, so just disregard the background....

WESLAAAAAY!

Part three: all about dinosaurs

As you may have noticed, I have added things about dinosaurs in this blog post. The thing is, I used to be completely and totally and absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs.

You know how some girls went through a princess phase? A horse phase?

Well, there's those kids, and then there's....me.

I went through a dinosaur phase.

It was pretty intense, and that's when I first became acquainted with Wesley. 

I have tons of old dinosaur books, my favorite dinosaur is a triceratops, and I can pronounce the word liopleurodon. And spell it, as you can see.
So, thanks for reading today, friends!
Okaybyenow!

Five ways to not die

1. If you are anything like me, STAY AWAY FROM FIRE. Mostly if you're camping and you're roasting a marshmallow. The burning marshmallow monster will COME AFTER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. I guarantee it.

www.deviantart.com 

2. Don't trust buzzing shrubbery. EVER. It's kind of a long story (and I'll explain it on my next post, I promise-there's not enough room here and it would be too big of a tangent.)

3. Eat chocolate daily. If you don't, you might find it harder and harder to enjoy the simple pleasures of things. And I'm being SERIOUS here.

4. If you're a Pokemon fan and know the theme song by heart....listen to THIS song. 

5. Take a picture of one thing that you find hilarious every day. It leads to telling all sorts of funny stories when you look back on your phone camera....and only you can laugh at the picture of that one lettuce leaf and understand the inside joke.

Ah, those were the good old days, before we were totally overloaded with homework. I miss those days, the days when we thought that one page of math was a lot, the days when we weren't afraid to run around outside playing quiddich in your front lawn....

I wish I was young again. 

It's funny, I used to wish I was older.

Okay, back to being hilarious now. 

I know that this blog is by FAR the best, but...well...to admit....my friends have some pretty awesome stuff too. My friend Anthony has a blog called Rosseaux (I feel like I spelled that wrong. You'll have to go check.). My other friend, Audrey, has a blog, too. I think I've mentioned it before, but I'm not exactly sure. It's all about art, and about how awesome the dragons that she draws are....they're truly awesome.

Stuff you should probably know if you want to read this

...Since I have no idea how to put this under the "Who, me? o_O" tab, I guess I'll just put it where everything else goes. The boring old home page. *siiigh.* I guess I should tell you some stuff about myself. It only makes sense, due to the fact that this is an "about me" page. e_e

• I absolutely love useless websites. They're gorgeous and beautiful and fantastically wondrous.
• I am a very sarcastic person. Or dinosaur.
• I usually make the first word in a bulleted list "I."
• I love to draw.
• Dragons are my number one FAVORITE animal. Ever. So I mostly end up drawing them.
• My friend Audrey is a lot more skilled at drawing than me, so don't go to her blog. --__--
• I LOVE EMOTICONS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
• My most hilarious moment involves bees, a chainsaw, and much pain on my part.

That's all you need to know about me. 

Now, here are some more things that you may or may not want to know. 

If I were a dinosaur, I would be a....TEA REX

If I were an animal, I would totally be a narwhal. Those things are sea unicorns.

I have a mom and a dad, obviously. We live in a house. (You guys are probably thinking, "NO WAY!")

My pets include a dog, a hamster, a fish, and a little sister. (The little sister is the hardest to control, by far.)

I'm a huge prankster.....

When I was a lot younger, in maybe fifth grade, I convinced her that a fancy word for "throwing a snowball"" was "spontaneously combust." After that, I put my genius little fifth grade brain into action and threw a snowball at her. My lil' sis ran inside to tattle.

"MOOOMMM!" She screamed. I waited outside the window, laughing like a rabid kookaburra hyena hybrid. This is gonna be great. 

"SARA SPONTANEOUSLY COM-BUST-TEEEED!" 

It was wonderful, as you can imagine.

Another prank I played on her was when I was in third grade and she was in first.

"Lewis and Clark were the first men to sail across the ocean in a yellow inflatable raft." 

She fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. She actually believed that until school the next day.

One more thing you should know about me.....

I don't want to go among mad people.

Oh, you can't help that....

That's about it, friends. 

Thanks for reading!

My Friends and I

Yeah, again I apologize for the uncreative title.....it's okay, though. It's all good, because the body text usually makes up for that.
As you have probably guessed by now, this blog post is about (mis)adventures that I've had with all of my friends. And trust me on this, there are plenty. 
First of all, I think I'll introduce everyone. Well, all of my friends, that is. I don't think I've personified my misadventures. If I did, I would be all like, "Oh, hi there Misadventure Number Three!"
Yeah.

I have quite a few friends. There's Anna, Allie, Alix, Audrey, Abbi (and that's just the As), Bailey, Jordan, Siri, Gabe, Madison.....and, uh, I'm 90% sure that's it. Most of them commented on my other blog. 
(I'm sorry if I forgot you! :(  I have a pretty awful memory.  )
So, we've done tons of stuff together, and it's usually really fun stuff! We go and do stuff a lot, and sometimes we hang out at people's houses.
I love my friends a lot. I was actually introduced to them in sixth grade, when I was a lot grumpier than I am now. It was crazy how grumpy I was.
A typical conversation between Nina (my sister) and I when I was in 6th grade:

Nina: "Hey Sara! How was school today? Aren't you excited to go to that play we're going to see tonight?!

And I'm all: "Sure."

So, as you can see, I was pretty grumpy. I met my friends and then I wasn't so grumpy anymore, because I had more friends.

So, yeah. I think that's it for today. 

POST THE FIRST

     First of all, I'm terribly sorry about my uncreative title. Really, I am. But, see, I have an awful writer's block right now for some reason, probably because I am very hungry. Seriously, I have second lunch today. It's awful. What makes it slightly better is the fact that I don't have a sense of smell, which stinks (no pun intended there) but is also really helpful. Unfortunately, the food is calling out to me and torturing my stomach. I know I'm hungry when the cafeteria food seems like a plausible option....

     Stomach: Nooooo! Make it stop! I didn't eat breakfast today! *grumble grumble*
     Food: Mwahaha, I shall rule the voooorrrlllldddd!

     Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but I am seriously hungry.

     Anyway, today I am supposed to be researching blogs that appeal to my particular tastes and style. My favorite one, of course, is the blog that I published for my trip to Europe. It's called THE TRAVEL BLOG.

     Okay, I know, I am absolutely atrocious at choosing titles and headings, but 'THE TRAVEL BLOG" (http://swilli99.blogspot.com/2013_03_01_archive.html) really got the point across. Overall, I had over a thousand views.

     Gurl, I am, like, sooooo popular. Totes adorbs. Gurl.

     So, besides my hunger and my uncreative title choice, I think that this will really be a fun assignment. I have to give all of my credit to Mr. Parker, of course, because he is the one who assigned us this assignment.
     And I just went to the department of redundancy department.
     Oh well.
     I think that that's all for today, friends. And people who I don't know. Who are reading this blog. I really kind of wonder what the heck you people I don't know are thinking about me right now. Probably something along the lines of, "Oh, that poor hungry child. She deserves a Subway." Or perhaps even "This here blawg is mah new fave websaht." Or possibly "This kid is crazy. Good thing we're not related."
     Don't worry, people I don't know. I think that you're crazy too.